


Wild Thing

by WhenIFindLoveAgain



Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [5]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Awkward Crush, British Comedy, Comedy, Comedy of Errors, Crush at First Sight, Crushes, Dating, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Humor, M/M, Melbourne International Comedy Festival (MICF), Religious Humor, Romantic Comedy, Secret Crush, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:01:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24054838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain
Summary: Mingyu has a dream about marrying Wonwoo, which sets off a change of events, partly because the rest of SEVENTEEN wants to know why Mingyu is on his toes around Wonwoo. This includes Seungkwan getting slapped with bacon, Jisoo ambushed in the nuddy-pants, Minghao getting a new hole ripped into him by M. Wen and Vernon and Jihoon playing Inspector Morse
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Lee Chan | Dino, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678627
Kudos: 16





	Wild Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy :)

"This has got to be the dumbest thing you have ever come up with in your life." Minghao stated to Mingyu.

  
"Seriously, what could go wrong?" Mingyu grinned broadly, utterly elated. Minghao glared at him, crossing his arms.

  
"Three major things." Minghao held up three fingers. "One: Wonwoo might say he doesn't want to marry you. Two: Wonwoo's Dad might come rip-roaring down the lane in that Range Rover of his with a hunting rifle. Three: Wonwoo's family hates gay shit."

  
Mingyu shrugged. "It's alright with them about Wonwoo."

  
Minghao rolled his eyes. "They only say that because he's their first-born son."

  
-

  
Mingyu sat up straight in bed, waking up from the dream. Where the fuck had that come from?

  
-

  
"Hey, Kwannie." Vernon grinned, sliding into a chair beside Seungkwan's at the kitchen table. "Hey, I want you to listen to this, right?"

  
"Oh, no, is this another one of your Anglo jokes that no one gets?" Jihoon rolled his eyes.

  
"Only because you're not half-Anglo or you didn't grow up there." Jisoo defended. "Hit us, Vern." 

  
Vernon grinned. "A Welshman, a Englishman, and a Scottish tart walk into a pub -"

  
"Oh, I've heard this one before." Jisoo rolled his eyes, brining over the pot full of coffee for himself and Jihoon.

  
"No, no, this one's different, I've adapted it. A Welsh bloke, Pommy bloke, and a Scottish tart, hear me out." Vernon explained, chattering along in Korean. A bit of a grin came onto Jihoon's face.

  
"Alright, you're permitted." Jihoon granted.

  
"He always was." Seungkwan and Jisoo kicked arse. Quite short arse.

  
"Right, a Welsh bloke, a English bloke, and a Scottish tart walk into a pub -" Vernon began when a scream of Mandarin went through the air.

  
"YOU CUNT! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TELL MY MOTHER THAT WE WERE SCREWING ABOUT?!"

  
"Which one of them is it?" Soonyoung came into the kitchen and asked. At the moment, Minghao and Junhui's shrieking was indistinguishable. Jisoo explained. Without quite meaning too, they all burst out laughing. 

  
"Shh, shh..." Vernon flapped his hands about. 

  
"Yeah, I've been missing Mr Wen lecturing Minghao through Skype." Jihoon grinned broadly.

  
"Wonwoo?"

  
They looked to the hallway. "He's not here, hyung, he's in the shower." Soonyoung said. Mingyu looked relieved as he came into the kitchen and started to cook breakfast. Seungkwan winked at Vernon craftily, and moved on the sly over to Mingyu. Soonyoung sprayed his coffee across the table and was nursed back to a normal state by Jihoon slapping him and telling him to get some maturity.\par  
"What's wrong with Wonwoo?" Seungkwan asked Mingyu. Mingyu turned around and slapped him across the face with a piece of raw bacon. 

  
Jisoo had to give Vernon CPR as he collapsed from his chair to the floor, having hysterics. Jihoon was happy enough to to lean against Sooyoung's side. Sooyoung beamed like a little one at Christmas. 

  
-

  
"So, what exactly are we going to do?" Chan quipped to Vernon.

  
"Get him as he comes out the shower." Vernon said frankly. 

  
Chan scratched his head. "He'll shit himself."

  
"Yeah, yeah, no worries, trust me, it'll be fine." Vernon dismissed.

  
"Is this some American thing?" Chan's nose wrinkled slightly.

  
"My Mum's family are Poms, originally." Vernon explained. "She always said that the Brits get away with murder."

  
Chan rolled his eyes. "That's nice."

  
"Hang on." Vernon listened for the sound of the shower taps being turned off. "Right, into position. Once more unto the breach, mate, psychotic fuckers we are and shall forever be."

  
"You need to be put on fucking tablets." Chan remarked, standing with Vernon outside the bathroom door. As soon as the bathroom door opened, they tackled Mingyu.

  
But it wasn't Mingyu. It was a very naked Jisoo. With a little bit of a hard-on.

  
"Shua?" Jeonghan's voice called. Chan yelped at the sight of him...laying on top of a naked Jisoo. Jisoo winced and groaned, having been winded and the bathroom tiles a not very soft surface to fall back on.

  
Vernon quickly got up and threw a towel over Jisoo and Chan, before slamming the door shut and greeting Jeonghan. "What are you doing?" Jeonghan asked, looking like the devil.

  
"Answer me this." Vernon smirked. "You were going in to suck him off, weren't you?"

  
"SHUT UP, YOU COCK!" Jisoo yelled in English. Jeonghan blushed a deep beetroot red, getting the gist of it. Vernon began to cackle. This was fucking legend.

  
-

  
"So...let me get this right." Minghao said to Mingyu, the two of them out together in a outdoor Chinese restaurant in Seoul. "You dreamed that I was giving you the three reasons why not because you were going to propose and supposedly marry Wonwoo on the same day out at the village where his parents are in the country and then you woke up - like what the fuck - and now it's got at you?"

  
Mingyu nodded.

  
"And because you're creeping around Wonwoo, everyone else wants to know what's going on -" Minghao checked.

  
"Which is why Shua-hyung got rugby tackled in the -" Mingyu began.

  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Minghao cut Mingyu off. Fuck, that had been one complete and utter balls-up.

  
"So, what do I do?" Mingyu asked.

  
"What are they saying?" Vernon squinted over in Mingyu and Minghao's direction, Jihoon down by his elbow, chattering on.

  
"Dunno." Vernon told Jihoon.

  
"This is dickhead behaviour, spying on them." Jihoon remarked.

  
"Funny how you come, then." Vernon replied.

  
"I always come out with you, you and me going out keeps me sane." Jihoon said. Vernon smiled.

  
"See?" Vernon put his hands in his pockets.

  
"What?" Jihoon looked up at him.

  
"You are a nice guy." Vernon said.

  
"Fuck off." Jihoon punched Vernon's hip. The only place he could reach.

  
"You should just say you like him." Minghao told Mingyu. "Or you should just hug him for a bit. Grab him in a headlock for a few minutes. Wonwoo doesn't mind getting held - sometimes - and you'll feel better. Trust me." He shook Mingyu's hand over the table. "Now, for God's sake, order something other than plum duck or garlic prawns - that's what Anglo's eat. Eat proper Han food."

-

  
Mingyu tried Minghao's method of practice. It worked.

  
Chan still couldn't look Jisoo in the eye...or hip region.

  
Vernon was on Jeonghan's hit list; Vernon was on his toes creeping about, doing his best to not give Jeonghan ammunition for absolutely anything.

  
Seungkwan got Mingyu back for slapping him in the face with a piece of bacon by slapping him awake at half-four in the morning with a spatula.

  
Vernon was right. The Brits do get away with murder, just about.


End file.
